It
happens time and again Nowadays, that people find themselves excluded from the
Society that they seek … not being invited to what Every Else is invited to, or
people being ‘too busy’ to attend to your own invitations. And they may wonder what is wrong, well,
besides what their first Thoughts might be – that everyone either does not
understand them, or that everybody is jealous and defensive, and that they wish
to exclude Him so that they themselves may have an opportunity to Shine.
Well,
how to decide? What is the Problem? Do
some people get excluded for simple reasons of jealousy and envy, or is it More Than That? Well, perhaps, without Society actually
Saying So, in so many words, that there are Rules, Codes… what I would say are
IDEALS which, if not strictly followed all the time, must at least Seem to be
acknowledged…. Or the ‘None-Ideals’ will simply be ‘Cut’… excluded without a
word. Nobody would SAY or Explain why a
Person, perceived to be too far Under an Expected Ideal is ‘Cut’ or shunned, as
that would be so unpleasant and so uncalled for. Social Ostracism can go forward without a
single unpleasant word.
Now,
of course, Society is not made up of Philosophers, Moralists and
Theologians. Yes, all of these Society
People have Ideals, but they are probably just ‘tacitly’ understood. Fin e Society just seems to Know when a Guest
or a Host is Perfectly Ideal… or Perfectly UN-Ideal, for that matter, but I
think it often just resolves into a Feeling, and that they would be hard
pressed to explain it. But these Ideals
Can Be explained.
First: the Philosophic Ideal. Philosophic People think and reflect upon
their Social Behavior, and remain ever Calm, Unflappable, always
Objective. In experiencing Hardships,
they would be Stoics. When presented
with New Moral Systems, they would be Skeptics. When presented with new Social Systems
advanced by Interested Parties, they would be Cynical… but All while remaining Unflappable,
Calm and Philosophically Serene. Such
People Never Offend, and so there is never any Reason to Not Invite them to
Parties… though they may seem a bit too dull to actually seek out their
attendance.
Then
there is the Gentlemanly Ideal. Now, it
used to be that being a Gentleman was a Class Distinction, and this may be one
of the Driving Forces that persuade ‘Modern’ Common People that Gentlemanly
Behavior is a Snobbish Thing which they should avoid, but at the cost of their
own Personal Dignity, seeming to prefer the role of being an Uneducated and
Unenlightened Commoner. But, this
eventuality had never been the product of any considerable Intent… or I hope
not. You see, with the advent of
Universal Education, at least before the 20th Century was much advanced, it was
Supposed that the Proper Education could make a ‘Gentleman’, or a ‘Lady’ out of
anybody. It just did not seem to work
out.
Anyway,
So… what IS the Gentlemanly Ideal?
Well, it is not much different from the Philosophic Ideal but it is a
bit more augmented in the direction of Aesthetic Appreciation: One must Appear Well. One must be clean and wear fashionable
cloths. Then, one must be Pleasant and
Agreeable. One must be Lucid and
understand the direction of Conversations, and be able to take part and Blend
In, that is, be an active part of the Social Group. They must be objective and impartial about
things and never offend or ‘act’ offended at what other guests or what the Host
may say. Of Course, you might think all
of this is kind of Obvious, and that doing this and Knowing to Do it would be
Easy Enough, but the Natural Instincts of Some People tend to push them to
being Proud and Independent, argumentative, crass and insulting, or just
totally Self-Absorbed without Care or Empathy for the rest of the Social
Group. It seems that being Common, is,
well, common.
Fine
Society is kind of Used to this Problem of
dealing with people beneath their Social Ideal. When Fine Society was considered a ‘Class
Thing’, it was often thought… very widely
thought, in fact… that Business People could never fit into the Gentlemanly
Ideal. Their perceived greedy Self
Interests tends to occupy their thoughts, and they can’t seem to attend to the interests
or needs of others. They Talk, but don’t
Listen, which makes them, if not Rude, at least it makes them ‘Bores’. When subjects come up which interest them,
whether Pro or Con, then they tend to respond with Partisan Enthusiasm… either
For or Against… seeming to be Excited or even Agitated. But the Social Ideal is to be Objective and
Detached – Thoughtful, but never Zealous…
Interested but never Extreme. Especially,
to Never Be Judgmental… as that would be Offensive, and Gentlepeople are Never
Offensive. To imply that another Guest,
or, heaven forbid, that the Host is Absolutely WRONG about something, is
probably Society’s Number One Sin. But
it is seen as something that Non-Gentlepeople do all the time. So Fine Society still sees reason for ‘circling’
their wagons, and exerting, well, their Snobbishness. It must be a bit like Heaven, where it seems
only logical that Heaven cannot really be Heaven if too Many ‘Sinners’ are
allowed in… and so while God may ‘Love’ everybody, well, Heaven Can Only Be
Heaven if only the Good People… the Gentlepeople… are allowed in.
Oh,
there must be a particular problem occurs with Lawyers. It seems that while some Lawyers can make a
great deal of money… enough to show themselves in ‘Well’ in Society, that is, ‘clean’
and ‘well dressed’, that they still fail with Society and probably because of
their Professional Training. For instance,
if they are not Impartial or Objective, it is because they are trained to be Partisan
and Adversarial, and, as is allowed in the Courts, if they don’t like somebody
else’s opinion upon things are at issue, well, they won’t hesitate to Attack
the other Person’s Knowledge, Judgment, or even Moral Standing in regards to
the Subject. Well, in Fine Society, this
is simply seen as too Ruthless… too much from out of a Very Violent and Mean Sub-Culture…
from out of the ‘Jungle” –not at all very charming. And so
Lawyers, unless they really learn how to Leave their Work at the Office or back
in the Stuffy and Unpleasant Courtroom, will mostly be shunned from Fine
Society.
Finally,
there is the Religious Ideal. This is
perhaps the hardest, or the easiest, to explain. Religious People think that they should Think
and Act as God would think and act. The Primary
Considerations would be that God is Great, All Inclusive, and Above the Common
Fray – that God is Transcendental. So God
would be Unflappable. God would Never be
worried or nervous. God would always be
above Insult or Misunderstanding. God
either Understands Everything, or treats Everything as though it could be
Understandable if perceived correctly and completely. The Religious Person’s Assumption is that
there is some Divine Meaning in Everything.
Personal Ego is set aside, and everybody and everything else are treated
as having some Equal Share in one’s Personal calculations and deliberations.
And
then the Religious Ideal also includes some aspects of the Aesthetic: that Religious People often open up to a
Love of All Things… and this is what might set them apart and Above the Philosophic
or Gentlemanly Ideals, that they Love or Find Compelling All Things and
Everybody, just because they EXIST… that they need no special Reasons or
Feelings to Explain it. They Simply
Experience and Respond to All Things as though in a Perpetual State of Bliss. Of course, such Idealists, if they actually
hit that High Mark, are Saints, and as such, perhaps the rarest of all People. But! When
they do appear, well, they are perceived as being so Nice and Pleasant, that
they never lack for Social Invitations… even when their fashion sense seems a
bit ‘off’ or their personal hygiene seems a tad wanting.
Now,
these afore mentioned Ideals are no strangers to Western Civilization… there is
nothing new in anything I have said. But
it is a matter of concern that our Universal Education Systems make hardly no
mention of them. And so it is that
People grow up, get ‘Educated’, and think they are doing all the right things,
and still find they have problems being accepted by Fine Society. And nobody is so unpleasant as to explain
why.
And
I see the problem only getting worse. Nowadays, in Western Culture, it is not the
Traditional Ideals that get the attention.
The Media – TV, Movies, even Journalism – focus on the More Interesting Story
Lines and Character Traits. We are
treated to Greed, Lust, Anger (which is presented as Moral Indignation),
Violence and Vindictiveness… that is, we are presented only with the kind of Things
that Make for Exciting Drama. And so it
works out that a kind of Unintentional Media Propaganda, that washes over
everybody, presents a Way of Life that, really, has no basis in any kind of
Idealism. And nobody pretends that it
does. It is presented as just simple
Human Behavior, with the tacit understanding that nobody can ever expect More
from Humans than to simply act like, well Walking and Talking Animals from out
the Jungle.
But,
looking back into History, well, their used to be things called Ideals. And it was the Recognition of these Ideals…
all inherently Spiritual… that separated Man from Beast. We can be Better than the Animals, but only
if we Will to Be Better, and can Envision a Better Life than simple Instinct
and all that is simply Predatory can provide for. Maybe these Ideals are Lost… or maybe
not. It used to be Understood that Ideals
were for the Few and were never expected from the Many. The Advance of the Common Man made everyone expect
that Anybody and Everybody could attain to the Same High Levels, but this
apparently never happened. The Common
Man stayed, well, Common.
So,
Ideals still seem only for the Few. But
there is no restriction on who may adopt them.
Anybody who thinks about it, may certainly become better than Common… it
is just that their seems to be no Cultural or surviving Traditional Impulse
that encourages the old Ideals that were once held in such high esteem. It seems to be All Jungle, nowadays. Survival of the Fittest… the Meanest, the
Cruelist… the exact people everyone hates to have at a Party.
Well,
what does it all mean? Well, I guess it
comes down to that Civilization is effectively dead, but hasn’t quite ‘fallen
down’ yet… and that we are simply transitioning now to a full fledged
Barbarism. It is sad… but I prefer to
look upon that eventuality with a Philosophical Composure. After all, it would not be the First Time
that a Civilization had collapsed… Maybe
in the Next Round, we will have splendid Parties again…
