A Word on the Advisability of Relationships

[ There is a young woman on YouTube who had a Kundalini Awakening a few years back, Soulful Toz, and I’ve been following her story.  Today she published a video “How to Communicate During an Argument” and it wasn’t about how to quarrel with one’s Uber Driver or the Pizza Delivery Guy, but about fighting with one’s Relationship ‘Partner’.  Well, yes, it should be obvious that one should not be in relationships with people that one has to argue with, but, since apparently this is NOT obvious, I felt I should explain it to her -- LV].     

Hi Soulful.  Do you ever wonder that Relationships are soul killing?  Look at it this way, that we start with two Perfect Souls, each with their own special Purpose in Life and direction to their own Ultimate Goal.  Now you put them together, and certainly their directions and spiritual velocities can’t possibly be the same, and that yoked together they will come to some combined Vector Sum that will be heading off to either Here nor There.  Nobody will be happy.  Both will be mislead and effectively aimless in their lives.    

Of course it has always been this way and people realized the problem and they did implement what they felt were solutions to the difficulties.   In most cases they set up either paternalist institutions or maternalistic ones.   We are more familiar with the Paternalistic Solution to the question, and that is where the young maiden leaves her own family’s home and joins up with that of her chosen husband, and while he gets to keep 100% on his Life Trajectory, it is she who has to do all of the adapting and changing (but if she was raised to it, then being a good dutiful daughter in one family will be very much like being a good dutiful daughter in another family).   Oh, remember that the Nuclear Family is only a very recent thing, unless it was the result of poverty.  You see, up until a while ago, any established Family with any land to call their own, lived in an Extended Family Model, that is, several generations living together.   A situation of just a man and a woman with their offspring being isolated off by themselves, well, that would be only in regards to displaced poverty stricken people.    Isn’t it ironic that the Prevalent Social Unit today is one that up until a while ago was predicated on poverty and displacement?  Go Capitalism! 

Of course, there are Islands in the Pacific where it is the males who are the ones to go to the Woman’s home and take on the role of being the subservient one, though, it is obviously different in the sense that while Women are inherently nurturing and useful, men are inherently selfish and lazy.   If you want somebody who can drinks, smoke cigarettes, and toss dice, then a Man will be your go to guy every time.  But, yes, with their propensity towards aggression, men can make excellent ‘guard dogs’ if they are trained well, and that is typically the most that is ever expected of them, and the rest is tolerated.

Okay, that was how they used to deal with Relationships.  Well, certainly you don’t want THAT, do you?  For one person to just give up their Life Direction for the other, that should be unheard of (but who honestly wouldn’t want their own devoted slave?).    But now the Preferred Model for Relationships is Mutual Accommodation and the couple ‘working’ to make their Relationship ‘work’.   You know, all that ‘work’ can’t be much fun.   Also, really, the Combined Vector of the Two, really doesn’t lead to either one of their Ultimate Goals of Life, and two lives, not just one, are wasted without achieving the Purpose their Soul was brought into Existence for.

Now, maybe in a few years, when Super Computing Networked Auto Learning Artificial Intelligence Systems take over almost everything, then we could have situations where the System could pair up Perfect Matches (if each person grows up with a System Companion (like a little machine pet Dog or Cat to which one confides everything, or it just hears and sees everything one says or does) then the System will really know everything about you… better than you know yourself, in fact), and there could be a near certainty that both People would be going into a similar direction their entire lives.  But that isn’t now, and chances are the people you get into relationships with are darn close to just being random selections.  Really, to get into a Relationship, one simply has to assume that one is very lucky.  But if it is not good advice to tell people to play the lottery, then how can we ever advise anybody to get into a Relationship?