Lonely? Need (Aggravating) People? Maybe A Cat Will Do.

Lonely?  Need  (Aggravating) People?  Maybe A Cat Will Do.

 

In the Anger Management sphere of interest, we find so many people who, if more or less just left alone by themselves, would never be angry, as for example, disconnected telephone calls don’t bother them… they simply redial; or their computer acts flakey all day long and these people do not as so much utter a ‘tinker’s ‘dingidy dong’’… they are at peace with themselves and their, well, rather isolated universes.   But it is the frustrations and perceived disrespects of other people, who in these cases instigate troubles, that tend to trigger the angry episodes experienced by our otherwise calm and peaceful ‘isolationists’.   Yes, yes, yes, it is our job here to provide people with the support and help to withstand any abuse, any indignity, any humiliation, all while being able to calmly and serenely react and respond to the worst situations Society can throw at them… as though they were American White Bread in Paris…  But, really, My Oh My, supporting and training all these essentially Nice People to withstand the barbaric attacks of the Hordes of Rude People out there, well, it is difficult, isn’t it? … and, what’s more, if we could only tell them to avoid all of those, really, contemptible Rude People – all those people who trigger their Angry Episodes, well, they would no longer have a worry in the World.  In fact, it is sad that it is all put upon us.  We are only going through so much trouble because, well, so many people are barbaric, rude, and uncivilized and do not know how to behave.  And the governments are  too cheap to include Civilized Behavior in the Core Curriculums of their Public Schools, or too prissy to sentence Manifestly Rude People to death, to graciously save all the Civilized People the trouble of having to deal with them.   Yes, of course, I have a great respect for the Value of Human Life… but isn’t a Rude Person worth less than Nothing?

 

So, in addition to all the advice we give regarding how we should all deal with those Terribly Rude People, well, shouldn’t we add a word of advice on simply avoiding all unnecessary Social Exposure…. To stay clear of the beastly multitudes.     Of course they can go out shopping.   “The Customer is always right”.  In the majority of retail establishments, the salespeople and service reps are extensively trained in being, well, as civilized as we wish everyone else were… except in France…and maybe some bureaus in New York, where the Upper Management are so barbaric themselves that they don’t quite see any ‘barbarism’ in their employees worth correcting.   But most everywhere else, if you are wearing the Hat of Consumer and Customer, you are perfectly safe… oh, as long as YOU aren’t the Barbarian.  So many Customers give Service People and Sales People a terrible time.  The Working Retail People are only doing their jobs, and any Civilized Person, who has an issue with some product or service, should be ever smiling and patient, all while the Wheels Turn, ever slowly, for the problems brought forward to be resolved.  Staying Friends with the Service People only helps in all of that.  Anyway, if YOU aren’t the problem, then you should have no problem with Shop People. 

 

But, when advising relative isolation, well, SO many people feel that they need Life Companions… Mates… Partners… Spouses… that is, to welcome potential Barbarians through their Gates.   Really!?  These such People have the potential to be the worst perpetrators of all the rude and disrespectful triggers we can receive.  Why ‘On God’s Green Earth Where the Sky is Blue’ would anybody in their right mind attempt to establish some constant relationship with such a potential threat!?   It is not as though you can actually meet a person and get to know them… NO!  People keep their Barbarism a big Secret until it is too late!   Here!  Let me tell you a story… Even a Psychologist friend of mine, when I was back in my Dating Age, advised me to… really, he did…to do everything to make myself likeable and attractive in order to gain the favor of those people I would want to, well, ‘seduce’… he didn’t use that word, but that is surely what such advice intends.   But that advise was not so very original, was it?   Such thinking, and such Dating Behavior is, well, Universal, isn’t it?   Nearly everyone who wants a Relationship is posing and pretending in order to get it.  And they keep it up until they get a Commitment.  You don’t meet the Real Them until they think it is too late for you to back out (oh, by the way, it is NEVER too late to walk out…. Just do a ‘one-eighty’, find the door, and leave… oh, grab your best stuff first… going back for it later is always, well, so awkward, and it spoils the effect of your dramatic exit, no?)

 

But, the fact IS that people do get lonely and need companionship.  But they think they need other people… like the Barbara Streisand Song “People Need People”.  Well, not really.   Studies have shown… people studying ‘Cat Ladies’ in order to isolate ‘Cat Ownership’ as some kind of a Dysfunction… well, the Studies kind of back fired on the original intent, and found, unexpectedly, that Cat Ownership (well, up to certain point) was indeed healthy.   It was found that people who had a ‘good companion relationship’ with a cat were just as well benefitted as those who had a good companion relationship with another human being, as rare as that is in these days were everybody only thinks of themselves and doesn’t care what offense they give to others as long as they can manipulate and maneuver, complain and bicker to get their own way… meaning that you are more likely to strike up a good relationship with a cat than another Human Being (and you can’t take the other Human Being to the Kennel if it doesn’t work out…).  Also it should be considered that no man ever lost his house and had to pay alimony to cat that he decided he hated and wanted to get rid of.

 

Even before reading these studies, about the companionship of cats being so beneficial to Human Beings, well, I sort of found out about it by accident.  There had been a Situation building up in my Neighborhood – some ‘overflow’ kittens from a Cat Lady who couldn’t really feed all the cats she already had were going about begging and scrounging.  Anyway, one little skraggle cat accosted me while I was walking past… a little kitten, yelling at me for me to feed it (I had had cats as a child and so I already knew their language…).   Well, okay.  So I went up to my rooms and tossed it out something.   Well, it became my friend.   I would keep a window open for ventilation, and it would come in and sit on the arm of the sofa where I would read a book just a few feet away.  I would ‘thump’ it a few times when I would give it food, and scratch its head sometimes, but that was IT.   Nothing big.  No hugs.  No kisses.   But, as I used to go OUT several times a week, well, now I began to stay home.  Even some Friday and Saturday Nights I would stay home.   I was saving a Ton of Money and was glad, but I REALLY had no idea why I was turning into such a home-body.   Then I read that Research Paper!  MY GOD!  I thought…. My Life has been stabilized because some silly cat sits on the Arm of the Sofa!?   Well, I guess so.  The Research was Right.  It seems that a scraggle cat was all the companionship that I really needed.   

 

Oh, this is not to say that Dogs may not be just as good, or even better.  Perhaps they are.   But dogs need to be walked or they will poop or pee anywhere, and unless they are trained they may be troublesome about chewing up expensive shoes and such.  And dogs will whine and cry for attention, and they may have fits of destructive frustration when left alone too long.  But cats, for the most part, are staid and independent, clean in their habits, and while they offer their companionship, are not often needy and dependent and overly bothersome about it.  Cats are great.